I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
