morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
