things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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