You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
