The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
