i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
