and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Randomize
