Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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