3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
