just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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