looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
