The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
