Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
