I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
