it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
