Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
