had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
