how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
