8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
