so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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