Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
