hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
