Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
