I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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