i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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