Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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