Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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