Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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