if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize