there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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