Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
