A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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