Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

would you consider him our boss?

(503): View more from Oregon

technically yes

(360): View more from Washington

then technically i slept with our boss

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(519): View more from Ontario

Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?

(1-308): View more from Nebraska

i hate being the asshole.

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(248): View more from Michigan

thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm

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(206): View more from Washington

You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm about to be a big disappointment.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN

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(203): View more from Connecticut

sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?

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