So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize