Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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