I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
