I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize