there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
and you fell through a lawn chair
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I was not drunk enough for that final.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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