they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
