I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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