He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
