I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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