question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
