Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
