so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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