why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
