I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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