just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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