U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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