I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
