Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out