If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
