How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
