hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
