Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
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I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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