it was like his penis was on wheels.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
