I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize