What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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