I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
