I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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