Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
