The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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