He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize