A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I will die if light touches me.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this will be a night to untag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize