Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My penis needs a shock collar
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
