Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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