Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
